Monday, January 01, 2007

Bonkers for Blood

Happy New Year, bitches. I've been absent for about two weeks. My bad, dilz. I really hit the holidays hard, but I realize now, given the season, that I should strive to be a better blogger, nay, a better person. We'll see what that striving entails--likely more baths, less garlic (actually, you can't smell me, so the clothes stay on)--and, hopefully, some cracking good times. I also realized this: MEL GIBSON IS A MADMAN.

Has anyone seen Apocalypto? It is the most ludicrously violent film I've had chance to witness. Infants are tossed, held upside down and swung like Peking ducks. Women are raped in front of their husbands. Fathers are executed in front of their sons (complete with squishy, gurgling noises). Hearts, dozens of them, are removed and shown to their owners. Heads, dozens of them, are thrown down stairs. Jaguars snack on peoples' faces (and require not one, but TWO, egregious close ups). Valleys of corpses. Body spiking booby traps. Rattlesnakes. Rocks. Clubs. Child birth. No detail left unfocused, no discretion considered. It truly is a feast.

The best part, however, is not so obvious, and I would put money down that it's true: the grunting and roaring noises that accompanied chase and hunting scenes (clearly to bestow an animalistic intensity....grrrrAAH) sound like they are made by none other than Mel Gibson himself. I'm not sure what that signifies if it is true. Maybe that he's crazy. Anyway, I'd love to hear what you think.

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